Soap Fart Online
by Kirino Imouto Lover
Summary: Takes place prior to Excaliur arc. One day Silica clumsily punches someone on the menu by accident with her elbow. Four girls from the Dream Team-Asuna, Leafa, Silica, and Lizbeth-plummet into a world where the only way they can get out is if they fart on one another. But Asuna and Leafa are also developing feeling for each other separate from this...


**Soap Fart Online**

 **Chapter One**

Since Kirito had gone off to _Gun Gale Online_ , the girls were bored.

It just wasn't the same without him. Asuna knew that, and feared that might all fall apart. Which would mean that when Kirito completed his GGO business, he'd come back to find he had no team anymore.

Of course, Asuna had become increasingly worried about Kirito's well-being, he didn't seem all right the few times they spoke irl.

Leafa yawned. She wished she hadn't put on her Nervegear today, it was really a drag without Kirito.

Lizbeth continued work on a new sword she hoped to be her finest work yet.

Silica, the last girl of their posse (outside of Yui, who sort of didn't count since she was a computer program and Kirito and Asuna's "daughter" in a manner of speaking, rather than a girl who would kill to steal Kirito from Asuna and make him her lover instead)…poor Silica's elbow hit a button on her screen, and a tremor ran around the courtyard they hung out in.

"Silica, what did you do?" Lizbeth asked, arms folded.

"I just hit something, sorry," the weakest link apologized. If the other girls had been heartless, they would've kicked her out. But Lizbeth and Silica had become fast friends at school since all the former SAO players were forced to attend the same learning institution, and they both knew Kirito and pined over him choosing Asuna.

The other pair were too kind-hearted to have belittled Silica. But people who knew about their team had voted on their favorites, and Silica had come in dead last. And someone had made a nasty forum saying, "If a game like SAO where players died came back and they were a guild, I promise you that Silica would die first, hands down."

Asuna and Leafa had both taken immense offense at this comment. "I bet you wish you were half as strong as Silica is," Suguha had responded.

It was true, though. Despite being clumsy and a bit behind in the knowledge department, she made the others feel like she added value to their squad. Of course, they didn't know the future, that another girl would join their ranks, whom people would also think of higher than Silica…but the girls were about to learn just how valuable Silica truly could be.

A larger tremor shook the whole courtyard. And then a hole opened up beneath the girls, and they fell….

"Silica, what the hell did you touch?" Lizbeth demanded to know.

"I don't know!" Silica insisted, crying into her hands. "But I think it may've been something horrible…"

They were falling down a pit. Asuna held onto Leafa. She felt the breasts press against hers. Suguha's avatar had a big rack just like she herself irl. Gosh she loved the feel of them! But what the hell? She wasn't a lesbian—was she?

Well, maybe bi? They did feel so good…like soft pillows. She rested her head below Leafa's chin.

The reason she had clung to Leafa in the first place…this wasn't normal for a game, and if she couldn't be with Kirito, the next best person to embrace in a moment when she could die had to be Suguha.

Cousin status, you know. But now—she didn't think her decision had been wise. Because Suguha felt…so comfortable.

But hold on, this whole scenario existed virtually. Perhaps the real Suguha wasn't this warm, this cuddly, this…soft.

Her gaze heading southward to thwart these thoughts of wanting to be even more intimate with Suguha then she currently was, she noticed that light ahead indicated they would reach the end of the tunnel soon.

And so they did, dropping down onto hay. For the first two girls, it felt soft…but Silica landed with her butt on Asuna's side, and Lizbeth accidentally slammed into Asuna's legs.

"Sorry," they both apologized.

They uprighted themselves, Silica's face bright-red at having sat on Asuna, she clearly could die of embarrassment…

But then Asuna felt herself being grabbed. Silica and Lizbeth were struggling against captors. And Asuna was shoved into a cage. Again.

Only this time, she was in with Silica. Leafa held onto bars of another cage, in which she was with Lizbeth.

Various girls with pink and green hair were gawking at them.

"Ah, they are captured," said a voice, the only blonde out of the horde of girls. She looked over the four. "I want the weak one to release gas on the blue haired fairy. And the yellow Sylph to do it on that swordmaking love-reject. Understood?"

"Sure, we understand!" said several voices at the same time.

"What if they refuse? It looks like they come from one of the more famous games, ALO or something. They probably know nothing about SFO."

"Then you can whip them, pinch them, whatever means you can find to persuade them. They will have to perform these acts onstage, so it's best they get comfortable with it now."

The blonde pointed to a Limehead. "Crusch. I want you to be in charge of the yellow-haired darling's actions. Rimi, you are in control of Silica."

"How do you know my name?" Silica asked.

"Are you kidding?" the blond laughed. "You hit the button that brought all your friends into our game. Your name was easy to figure out, because of that. Actually, our monitor said, 'Silica activated the quaketremor. So here you are."

She tickled Silica under the chin.

"We can log out, you know!" Leafa shouted.

"Yeah, right," said one of the Limeheads. "You can't log-out of Soap Fart Online. Not until you've performed on stage. And I think Rinka is planning a big surprise for you."

"Don't tell them that! They need to be shocked when they go up."

"It's not for awhile yet," said a pink-haired lass. "First we have to train you to fart."

"That's disgusting!" Leafa shouted.

"Is it now?" said the pink-haired girl. "Because I think you'll like it. You seem the type."

"I'm not the type to engage in anything revolting."

"My name is Rimi," said pink hair, smirking. "And I can persuade you easily."

She lifted a whip off the stack of hay it lay on nearby, and brandished it. Scraping Leafa's shoulder, it pained Asuna to see her being treated like that.

"Ow, that stings! How would you like it if you were whipped?"

"I'd love it, actually," Rimi said, smirking. "I was whipped into becoming who I am now. And you will transform into a fart-loving freak before too long."

"Fart-loving? You're sick…"

"Silica here loves farting though," said a Limehead. "And you could love it, Lemon Hair. Trust me, your body type says as much."

"That's silly...about my body type. And Silica, it isn't true of you either, is it?"

"Well, um…" Silica said, blushing.

"It's the joy of having gas emerge from your anus and someone else being forced to smell it," Rimi said.

"What? I don't want anyone to smell it…" Silica protested.

"You already enjoy farting, though. And you're going to make bluecrown sniff those farts of yours."

"But of course, you wish it were that green-dressed flower, don't you?" said Rinka*, pinching Asuna's cheek.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Asuna said.

"I have been trained to read people's hearts. And I know you like her. Which is why we're forcing her to fart on the other girl, and Silica on you." Rinka rubbed her belly. "Oh, good, you're about to taste your first whiff of gas, in a place you cannot escape. And trust me, my flatulence is worse than anything Silica could dish out."

And with that Rinka leaned forward, and loud rumbles were heard from her nether region.

Immediately the Limeheads and pink beauties covered their noses. Rink's fart was really rank.

Asuna couldn't cover hers, Silica had fallen back and sat on Asuna's arms. And despite the foul odor invading her nostrils, Silica's butt felt so warm. And she wasn't the one who released the flatulence.

"Not even shielding yourself?" Rinka scoffed. "You're trained already. Too bad your two low on the ladder for me to fart directly in your face. One day maybe you'll be at that level."

She snapped at Crusch and Rimi. "Kiss my butt before I take my leave, a mega fart is about to come out."

"Sure," Crusch said, getting on her knees and kissing it. Rimi looked with misgivings, glancing at her fellow pink-haired posse. One of them encouraged her to go forward, and she sat down too. Then both girls kissed one of Rinka's buttcheeks, Rimi more reluctant.

A gargantuan ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP emerged from where the two girls lips touched. "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Rimi shrieked. A Limehead forced her to not reel back. There was a pink-haired damsel behind Crusch, but that girl didn't need any push to keep kissing and inhaling. Rimi on the other hand looked like she'd throw up.

This caused Leafa to cover her heart and feel a little sympathetic toward Rimi. She was less sympathetic however twenty minutes later, when Rinka had left and Rimi was forcing her to eat with the threat of a whip.

"I don't want to eat," Leafa complained.

"You have to. If you don't eat, you can't fart. If you don't fart, you can't perform, and if you can't perform, you won't be able to log out."

"Isn't this torture, though? You're asking me to fart so that Lizbeth smells it. But I saw how uncomfortable you were sniffing Rinka's…"

"Shh! Don't say that where people can hear you," Rimi pleadead.

"If you make me eat, I will shout it," Leafa said, her arms crossed.

"It's okay Rimi," Crusch said. "Everyone here knows you don't like Rinka farting in your face."

"But she's my superior, I have to take it…"

"Yes, we do. But I don't see why you complain. We are second in a platoon, we have jobs training the new gals…do you know many other girls would kill to be where we are?"

"A lot," Rimi said, wiping her eyes. "But honestly I'd rather that blue-haired chick fart on me. She's amazing."

"She's not even one of the farters as designated by Rinka," Crusch said. "Speaking of which…" Her smile grew bright as she turned to Silica. "You have an incredible urge to fart, and I right?"

"It's wrong to do it on another person," Silica choked out.

"You have to if you ever want to leave SFO."

"But Asuna will hate me…"

"Asuna? As in the Asuna? From Sword Art Online?"

"That's the one."

Rimi rushed over. "Ohmigod, it is her! I knew there had to be a reason I wanted to be farted on by her! Come on Crusch, don't you think we could bend the rules, let me in the cage, and Asuna fart on me?"

"No," Crusch said. "They'll break out and be trapped in this game forever. They probably be captured by auctioneers and sold as toilets. They're much safer here, at least they can go home this way."

"It's not fair for Asuna to go home at all," Rimi pouted. "I want to be her toilet, I _will_ be her toilet."

"You're revolting," Leafa said, as Rimi marched back over to her.

Rimi tossed a rope at Leafa's neck, which landed, and reeled her in.

Kissing Leafa's lips wasn't easy with the bars, but she managed it.

"What the hell?" Leafa asked, backing away and wiping her mouth.

"I thought some of Rinka's stink might still be on my face so I could pass it on to you."

"Why you dirty…" Leafa said, marching toward the cage bars and making a swipe at Rimi.

Rimi dodged but reached in and squeezed Leafa's boob. Leafa started to push her away, but Rimi grabbed her other boob and squeezed that one too.

Even though she didn't want to, Leafa found herself breathing heavily. This was so hot. A cute, pink-haired girl, giving her feels. How the hell did this happen?

 _Kirito's in that stupid gun game and he's with Asuna anyway. It's okay if I let someone touch me._

That's what Leafa told herself. And as she breathed heavily, she peered into Rimi's eyes. The thought came to her, _What can I do to make Rimi happy?_

And then as if the most revolting thing she had thought of rose into her mind, _I can eat._

Now eating in of itself is one thing, but the reason Rimi wanted her to eat was so she could fart. She couldn't do that…

"What about me?" Lizbeth asked. "What if I'm hungry? Do I get to eat?"

"Of course not," Rimi said. "Only Leafa can eat. She's the one farting on you."

"But I'll starve, won't I?"

"Puh-leeze," Rimi said, waving her hand. "This is a game. I'm surprised anyone associated with the legendary Asuna doesn't know how games work."

"I know how games work," Lizbeth snarled. "What I don't understand is how if in other games people get hungry, why it'd be okay for me to not eat?"

"You won't be hungry when she starts farting," Rimi said, pointing at Leafa.

"Um, what?"

"Crusch, would you care to explain?" Rimi asked.

"One second," the Limehead said, sticking a pin in Silica's arm. Silica's butt was pressed over Asuna's nose. A loud BBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP was heard.

"Yuck, Silica, you're doing it!" Leafa screeched.

"I can't hold it in anymore, that's why!" Silica exclaimed. "I also have a weak pain threshold. Please forgive me, Asuna!"

"Well, I am a bit hungry," Leafa acknowledged. "But it still doesn't seem fair to me that Lizbeth can't eat also."

"Only the dominator eats," Crusch said. "And Rinka chose you to dominate."

"Okay, but why wouldn't she starve if she's not allowed to eat?"

"Because SFO makes it where when you inhale fart, your body perceives it as a meal. That's why Rimi and I were full after Rinka farted on us."

Silica's flatulence was still coming. Crusch wrinkled her nose. "Gosh, I wouldn't want to be Asuna, smelling that up close. Silica is a real farting mistress."

"No one has answered my torture question," Leafa said, crossly.

"It is somewhat torture depending," Rimi said. "I mean, when Rinka farts on me, it's torture. But Crusch likes it."

"So some people enjoy it and others do not?"

"No," Rimi said. "Or yes, but more specifically, I enjoy some farting girls and others disgust me. For instance, I can tell you for a fact that Asuna farting on me would make me so happy."

"How do you know?"

"Because I can read her body make-up with the SFO scanner. And the potency of her farts, what types of food smell best when she releases them as gas…"

Leafa considered for a few seconds. "So the type of food can determine if the recipient will like the fart?"

"It can," Rimi said. "But it doesn't matter what Asuna eats or how bad it smells. Based on her body type, I'd enjoy it. Only some foods would cause her fart to taste better than others."

"Can you tell me what food will make Lizbeth like my fart when digested?"

Rimi looks at Crusch, who nods.

"Well, we're not really supposed to give out information like that," Rimi said. "I mean when you perform, the audience will like it better if the recipient of the fart dislikes it. That's why Rinka always chooses me when she's onstage…"

"This is training, though," Leafa said. "And I want her first time to be acceptable. I know we're in a cage and we need to perform well before we can log out. But that doesn't mean this has to be a nightmare for her, you know?"

"I know," Rimi said. "Well, Lizbeth isn't used to your fart and you're not her body type. So really the only thing you can eat that she wouldn't mind much is a sandwich of some sort. And not a fancy submarine. A simple sandwich."

She pressed a button and a plate appeared on the table in Leafa's cage. It had a sandwich on it already.

"Wait, no one has to prepare the food?" Leafa asked.

"It's made already, by some servant elves," Rimi said. "'We simply order it and it appears here."

"Okay, but are you sure eating this will create pleasant fart for Lizbeth?"

"Absolutely positive. The reader doesn't lie."

Leafa nodded, then took a bite. "Bologna and mustard," she said. She ripped off a corner and slipped it into Lizbeth's hand. Lizbeth made a noise, then moved it toward her mouth.

"Giving a bit of food to her?" Rimi said. "I told you it wasn't necessary."

She struck the whip against Leafa's ear.

"Ow!" Leafa screeched.

"Just eat the frickin' sandwich. Your fart will satisfy her hunger."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Leafa exclaimed.

Just then Silica let out a humungous fart that Leafa could smell even from her cage. She bit into the sandwich hoping to cover the taste, it was so awful…

 _Poor Asuna,_ she thought. _But Silica isn't doing this for pleasure. It's to get us safely back to ALO._

She finished the sandwich, but the odor of Silica's fart still rankled her. It was everywhere.

Thirsty, she waved her hand at Rimi as she chewed on the last bite of sandwich.

A chocolate milkshake appeared before her. She drank it fast, and surprisingly didn't get brain freeze effects.

Then her butt tremored. "What the hell?" Leafa asked. "I shouldn't be ready to fart already."

"It's the effects of the milkshake," Rimi said, a gleam in her eye. "Causes you to digest food super quickly."

"Why, though? Wouldn't it make more sense to let it digest naturally?" Leafa had trouble saying this since she had to squeeze her butt-cheeks together to prevent the flatulence from escaping if possible.

Just then Rimi whipped her in the back, and she fell down…her butt landing on Lizbeth's neck. Fart erupted like lava from a volcano. And it kept on coming. More and more, wave after wave.

"What? How could one sandwich do all that?" Silica asked.

Rimi winked. "Well, it was made from Super Extra Gas-Inducing Bologna and Reactor Mustard. 'Course it would be excessive."

"But Lizbeth, I'm hurting Lizbeth!"

Leafa started to stand up, but the weight of remaining gas in her posterior pulled her back down, this time over Lizbeth's nose.

Torrents of it flooded out. Leafa just didn't understand it…

"And that's just the appetizer," Rimi said, when Leafa could finally sigh from relief since her butt had calmed down.

"What? You can't make me eat more. I'm not hungry."

Leafa's stomach ground, and Rimi laughed. "Not hungry, huh? The milkshake also made you hungrier than you were before. Isn't it marvelous?"

"You really are a sadist, aren't you?" Leafa asked, shaking her fist in Rimi's direction.

Rimi caused lasagna and mangos to appear before Leafa.

"Now this is sure to hurt her nose," Leafa said.

"Good, it should. This isn't meant to be no picnic. Eat and fart. Those are your duties. Or you get whipped."

"I'm so sorry, Lizbeth," Leafa said, but then her hunger pains were so enormous that she had to fork lasagna into her mouth immediately or go bonkers, she felt.

But much as Leafa was uncomfortable doing this on Lizbeth, and feared Lizbeth would hate her once this ordeal ended, Leafa couldn't help feeling joy at being allowed to fart in public. She had a feeling Silica liked that too….

For Silica really got into this. She ate tons and didn't seem to fret about what her anus' activity was doing to Asuna.

"Also, don't worry about gaining weight," Rimi said, wagging her finger. "You can't gain weight no matter how much you eat because your metabolism is higher and you'll fart out any food you eat. So consume whatever you want and however much of it you want. You'll stay the same size regardless."

 _But will Lizbeth hate me and Asuna hate Silica when this is all over? Will Kirito be able to stand coming back to find his team split apart?_

 _I can't let it happen. I might lose points with Lizbeth, but I will try to persuade Asuna to not hold a grudge against Silica._

And with that in mind, Leafa embraced this for the time-being. She didn't know if she could actually like it yet, but…that would depend on Lizbeth's reaction. And she couldn't ask her yet, not with Rimi and Silica and Crusch around…

And especially Asuna. Kirito's girlfriend. Who fell all the way down here in Leafa's arms…

Leafa suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to have Asuna as her girlfriend. If Kirito couldn't have her, then she could be happy with Asuna…

Except for one major problem—the reason Kirito couldn't be with her _was_ that he had Asuna. Which made Leafa's heart break even more, and caused her to pursue her efforts in farting all the harder. Her friendship with Lizbeth was probably already tarnished anyway.

But she wanted to fight to be either Kirito or Asuna's girlfriend. And without that possibility, she could really only do one thing:

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Yes, that.

 **Author's Notes:** Characters From Various Animes appear in this fic. You do not need to know their personalities. This is the virtual version of their avatars, used by people in the world of SAO. Imagine that these other animes are game worlds within the bigger universe of SAO. These were created from the "seed" Kayaba gave Kirito, or rather individual gamemakers who used data from that seed to make their own games based on animes:

%Crusch – from _Re:Zero – Starting Life in Another World From Zero_

**Rimi – from _Chaos;Head_

*Rinka from _Nakaimo_

That said, all you need to know is what they look like.

Also a Limehead is any anime girl who has green hair. I don't know if theyr'e an official term for this, but that is what I call them.


End file.
